"People in monogamous relationships are also free to acknowledge the attractions they feel for others." Is this true? Because in my experience it overwhelmingly is not. It's considered wildly inappropriate in anything but a passing way (e.g., that actor is cute, etc.) If you actually went home and told your boyfriend/husband that you had a lot of sexual chemistry going on between you and his best friend, it would not go over well, and you know it.
I was monogamously married for 20 years (happily so) before we decided to open up our relationship, before we ever got together with anyone else, we had dozens of real conversations that we'd never even considered having under the auspices of monogamy. Monogamy isn't necessarily bondage but it is, by definition, about exclusivity which usually results in hiding feelings about others from your partner, guilt, and always being worried about whether or not you are crossing any lines. I no longer keep anything from my partner because I no longer feel the social expectation to do so. That means our commitment to each other is much deeper and stronger than it used to be when we were monogamous.
Polyamory is about commitment as well, it's just about commitment to more than one person at a time (and you don't need to commit to every single person you are attracted to). No-one is trying to convert you to non-monogamy. You should do what makes you happy, but pretending that most monogamous couples have the same level of honesty and communication that is common and expected in poly is just fooling yourself.
