People who are being systemically abused don't need to change their minds or be nicer about how they react to that. I believe you that you don't act inappropriately or hang around with guys who do, but that doesn't mean that the world isn't filled with men (acting out traditional masculine norms) who do and are. Saying that you haven't seen it (so it must not be that bad) is once again centering yourself in a narrative that isn't about you. It's inappropriate for you to sit in judgement about what other people have suffered and determine what is valid or not - particularly when, by your own admission, you are somewhat clueless about what's actually taking place.
The 4B movement is a natural reaction to an extremely misogynistic culture. MGTOW and Red Pill are a reaction to women no longer tolerating the stuff that until fairly recently they had to tolerate because they had no other choices. All of that is based in misogyny and reacting to misogyny. There is almost no actual misandry in the world - it's all a reaction to misogyny. Pretending like it's equivalent and there's a level playing field for women is to purposely turn a blind eye to the realities.
It doesn't matter whether or not you are conscious of what you've been taught, it is deep in your subconscious mind, guiding a lot of your actions and speech - just as it is for us all. The only thing to do to improve the world is to become more aware of these types of things and then to confront them where they drive violence, inequality, and hate. Fully one third of the women around the world have been beaten and/or raped by a man. While that doesn't necessarily indicate that 1/3 of men are perpetrators, it does indicate that violent rape cultures are the norm and are tolerated - and that they are outcroppings of patriarchal values where women are treated like property meant to serve men's interests. This may be a lot more subtle than it was 50 years ago, but it's still deeply in the cultural subconscious.
Be the change you want to see in the world. Learn about and confront the dynamics that drive dysfunction, and then confront in yourself and others the places where you see that cropping up. The more educated you are about this, the more you will be able to recognize it all around you.
