“Plus, in their infinite subtlety, people often assume that if you like banging, you will enjoy it with anyone. That if you talk about it openly, you are fair game for their advances.” I hear this from pretty much every woman who writes about sex.

Several months ago I got a message from a guy who had no image for his avatar, just one of those little blue heads. He said something like, “We seem to have similar interests. Do you want to start a relationship?” Nothing about him, who he was, where he lived, what appealed to him about me other than the fact that I write about sex. And I was supposed to just jump at that. And since he doesn’t know where I live either, I’m assuming that by a relationship he meant that I would send him salacious notes that he would respond in kind to. Um — no!