Pretty much all mainstream psychology and sociology organizations now recognize "traditional" masculine gender indoctrination (known as the Man Box) as being the root cause of violence in our culture - against both men and women; being responsible for the rape culture that we live in - where mainstream heterosexual sex is on the same continuum with rape, as well as all sorts of negative outcomes for men. It's not "demonizing men" it's calling out American masculinity for the HUGE social problem that it is — for men, women and everybody. Men are not the cultural norms that have been foisted on them. Lots of men around the world and at different time periods have behaved differently. Men aren’t the problem. This culture of American masculinity is. They are not one and the same.
“Paradoxically, to be perceived as masculine and thus to achieve the higher social status and power afforded to “real” men, men are pressured to and rewarded for adopting certain traits (e.g., being aggressive, virile with many sexual partners, unemotional, in control, adventurous, risk taking, dominant) that result in vulnerability to negative physical and mental health consequences.12–14 Furthermore, adoption of inequitable beliefs and adherence to traditional norms of masculinity have been found to be associated with violence,15–18 risky sexual behaviors,12,19,20 and sexual and intimate partner violence against women,20–22 which in turn negatively affect the health of men, women, and children.”
I believe that men who are silent in the face of other men’s violence—whether the silence is intentional or not—are complicit in the perpetration of that violence. We’re not guilty because we’re men. We’re responsible—because we’re men—either for speaking out or for not speaking out about other men’s violence.
Katz, Jackson. The Macho Paradox (p. 30). Sourcebooks. Kindle Edition.
Stop centering yourself here. Unless you are doing the bad shit, or turning a blind eye to the bad shit, we’re not talking about you and if you are doing those things then you are a part of the problem, so shut up about it. Join sane humans in becoming a part of the solution and in creating a better culture for the benefit of us all.
