Pretty much all of this is "cultural narrative" that doesn't have any real basis in facts. I'm passionate about science, not fairy stories. And what do you mean by "boys and men should aim to be strong" - are you talking about physical strength or mental strength and why shouldn't women be encouraged to be those things as well? The current women's NCAA basketball teams could wipe the floor with a whole lot of men's teams, as just one example. Then there's the long history of women hunters, soldiers, pirates, and martial artists. The most strong and resilient people I know or know of are all women.
“Researcher, Brene Brown, has ascertained, after years of study, that vulnerability is one of the most necessary traits in order to have not only real love and connection but also to have creativity, ingenuity, and courage. She once said to a room full of special forces soldiers, “Vulnerability is the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Can you give me a single example of courage that you’ve witnessed in another soldier or experienced in your own life that did not require experiencing vulnerability?” She said the one response was from a man who had served three tours. “No, ma’am,” he said. “I can’t think of a single act of courage that doesn’t require massive vulnerability.”
Your patriarchal notions of "strength" in men is literally killing them. The American Psychological Association just issued new guidelines for working with boys and men that aims to address how damaging that is.
“Thirteen years in the making, they draw on more than 40 years of research showing that traditional masculinity is psychologically harmful and that socializing boys to suppress their emotions causes damage that echoes both inwardly and outwardly.”
"The title of too many studies declares that females and males differ in brain structure, function or connectivity, whereas careful reading of the Methods and Results sections reveals that of the hundreds or even thousands of variables assessed, a significant sex difference was found in only a few. (emphasis mine) For example, a recent study of functional connectivity in utero was titled “Sex differences in functional connectivity during fetal brain development”, even though there were no sex differences in connectivity patterns, and of the 128 correlations between sex and age that were assessed, there were significant differences in only three (Wheelock et al., 2019)." Beyond the Binary
"Females can gain benefits, such as reduced infanticide risk or assurance of fertilization, from mating with multiple males (polyandry). Similarly, the assumption that males will always exhibit indiscriminate mating has also been challenged by comparative studies, particularly in insects, in which the energetic costs of sperm production, courtship and copulation can select for male choosiness and the prudent allocation of mating effort." Source
“But what then is the evolutionary purpose of men having, on balance, greater upper body strength if women were hunting big game too? I suppose the same might be said of the long history of women warriors in a wide variety of cultures. I don’t have a definitive answer for that, although I do know that sexual dimorphism in humans is only about 15% compared with 50% for gorillas and that differences in average height have been attributed to higher levels of estrogen in women. I also know that when you live a life where you are expected to build and use your muscles every day, women can be quite strong.”
“What Columbia University researchers have found is that risk-taking is far from an all-or-nothing quality. Inveterate gamblers may well steer clear of bungee jumping or skydiving. Heavy smokers may be leery about investing in the stock market. Being willing to take a risk in one area of your life does not necessarily indicate a widespread predilection for risking behavior. And in addition, women and men have similar attitudes toward risk, although they may have different perceptions about what is risky or not — often based on societal norms and past experiences.”
Women have had to "find the best mate possible" because up until about 50 years ago, they were severely curtailed in being able to provide for themselves. Now that women have a lot more earning opportunities, a huge number of them are no longer interested in marriage and are having children on their own. Trying to look at "results" outside of the context for them just gives you convenient stories to tell to justify your worldview, but it's not very scientific. It’s a correlation without causation scenario, but thanks for the story prompt.
