Question #1 - Yes, the Nordics have thought about peaceful transition back to something more egalitarian and although it's not perfect, it is working better than in the rest of the Western world. Countries like Denmark actually teach empathy in schools and have mechanisms for students helping each other as a matter of course. This is seen as not only civil behavior, but also training for being a good manager. Denmark has one of the world's strongest economies. Predatory late-stage capitalism, however, does not believe you can be kind, and decent, and treat others with respect and still make money, so that's one big obstacle right there, but it is possible and in fact, in many companies that value agility (traditional hierarchy takes a lot of time - not very agile) there is a move toward a more partnership-oriented model. This doesn't mean no bosses - it means they have a different function. Read more about that here.
Question #2 Women participate in patriarchy as well, for sure, but until really, really recently (just a few decades) men (mostly white men) had ALL the political, economic, and social power and they absolutely created and maintained laws and structures to try to ensure that stayed the case. Today men engage in sexual harassment, and other forms of discrimination attempting to keep their place higher up in the pyramid of the dominance hierarchy. They absolutely are much, much more responsible as a demographic for patriarchy than women are. What do you mean women got their lives paid for? You mean the people who did all of the work of running the family, cleaning, cooking, washing, caring for children, etc, etc. for no pay (and no respect). Is that what you mean - honestly???
“Unpaid domestic and care work would equal a substantial portion of global GDP if given an equivalent monetary value, exceeding 40% in some countries based on conservative estimates.” If someone had to pay an outside person to do all the things the average woman does for free, it would cost somewhere between 120k and 150k per year, so it’s a little bit absurd to assert that women have been taking it easy.
And while women were being worked like and treated with the same respect as slaves, they somehow found time to grow, and challenge the status quo, and demand better for themselves. It's a complete crock to say that men don't have time to do that, when the truth is they mostly don't want to do that sort of vulnerable, self-reflective work that would lead them to treat women more equally. Most guys have been taught that they are better than girls, and that women exist to please and gratify them. They are bombarded with that daily via media/porn/culture and so even if it's not a conscious thought - it's a deeply ingrained subconscious one.
With rare exception, the only way men pull their weight is economically. Women who earn more than their husbands, and even those who have men who don't work - the woman still does the majority of household work and childcare. Who would want a partner who isn't going to do all the "free labor" that women have historically done, and who also doesn't also earn his share of the income? It's a lose/lose proposition for a woman. Poor women are the least likely to get married, for this reason. They can't afford to be legally tied to someone who is essentially sponging off of them.
So, what you're describing is an apples and oranges scenario. I've known a few house-husbands who stayed home when the kids were young and essentially did the entire "wife" role but they are the exception by a lot. Conversely, my husband's co-worker has a husband who quit his job and now drinks and plays golf all day. When she gets home from her demanding job, she still has to cook, and take care of the kids because he's done next to nothing and intends to keep it that way. I'm honestly not sure why she stays with him.
So, back to patriarchy - yes, the little guy doesn't feel his power and privilege because most of that belongs to the elites, who want to keep him as a cog in their wheel, but at the end of the day, this is still an extremely androcentric culture, institutionally designed by and for men (who were the only real citizens by law up until just a few decades ago). Men have lots of problems and challenges caused by the ways that patriarchy harms them, but from what I've seen, most men are so overly identified with patriarchal masculinity that the thought of giving that up feels like killing their identity and they don't want any part of it - even if it would be better for them too. And that right there is the real reason that we are probably doomed.
Edit: Women have always worked to contribute to the family bottom line. Prior to about the 1940s, it was on family farms or in small businesses, or by taking in washing, or sewing — in addition to caring almost entirely for the home and family by herself. The idea of a female homemaker and a male breadwinner really only existed from about 1950 until the 1970s, and even then, wasn’t universal. Poor women always had to work outside the home in addition to all their other duties. And even today, about 75% of mothers work outside the home. It’s really kind of a patriarchal myth that women have somehow lived soft off of men’s labor — when in truth, it’s really more often the other way around. Most working women still come home and pull a second shift that their men disproportionately do not contribute to.
If you haven't already, read these pieces for more about what I've said:
