She said she wanted to go to the room with us, just later, when in truth she had no intention of doing that. That was the entire problem — she wasn’t honest. And the point of going to the room was to talk more in depth about what they did and did not want to do. She could have easily used that as an opportunity to say, “We don’t sleep with people until we get to know them better,” or whatever she wanted to say.

She absolutely had the right to draw any line she wanted to, and kissing and being all over James was not necessarily a promise of anything more. But she should have expressed that. That’s what we do in the ENM world — we communicate. We were in a venue filled with swingers and polyams where people go there specifically to hook up, and again, she had every right to choose not to do that, but when you are all over someone in that kind of a setting, and you’ve said you want to go somewhere more private with them, to then to not do that without any real communication is bad form. I know she didn’t just change her mind because the reason she gave wasn’t credible.

I appreciate what you are saying, but I was also the boots on the ground in that situation. Plus, I got to know her better through Adam talking about her and their relationship, and considering how weasely he was as well, I feel like my assessment of it all was pretty accurate.