Someone asked me in a “Dear Elle” column one time about how he could get his wife to go along with opening up their relationship. What he really wanted was a license to go behind her back. Here’s how I started things off:

“My first recommendation would be for you to get very clear about what you truly want out of the possibility of an opened up relationship. In other words, what would this bring to your relationship with your wife and not just to you?” I think he ended up decided to just cheat, but that’s the cowards way out.

Another guy told me that his wife had given him a hall pass and he wanted to know what to do next. I was more than happy to help him because although she didn’t want to know the details, she had given permission.