Take Back the Night started in 1976 -an international movement to stand against sexual violence against women. The fact that these annual events, which are huge in the US, have never gotten much media attention is because all major media is owned and operated by men - most of whom are more interested in preserving their privilege and sweeping violence against women under rug so they can continue perpetrating it their offices. Those who don't want to perpetrate it want to cover it up. The overwhelming response to the #MeToo revelations that nearly every woman you (and I) know has repeatedly been subject to sexual violence was to scream at women and tell them to stop making men look bad. That's the climate we are dealing with.

Men are still absolutely messaged and indoctrinated by this culture into the belief that women exist for their enjoyment and entertainment. Every woman I know has experienced that over and over again, and hook-up culture and misogynistic porn have just made it worse. A lot of it is subconscious, but then again, this is the bulk of our thought. Only about 2% is truly conscious according to cognitive science.

That's why we need a movement of men (a larger and more mainstream movement than already exists) to take this stuff on. If even 30% of men really stood up against this sort of masculine culture and for a healthier one, it would make a huge difference. We're all indoctrinated into patriarchy from birth, but men are more invested in it in part because they benefit from it more. It's not a synonym for men, but it absolutely is a male-dominated system that has unfairly benefited men and still does - even if that isn't what they want or ask for. We are all a part of our culture as well as individuals and there is no way to opt out of that. The best that men (or any of us with social privilege) can do is to recognize that and try to work with it to encourage a culture that is more egalitarian and less stratified on artificial bases. It's not about blame, it's about responsibility.