Talking about how men buy into and uphold patriarchal norms - for themselves, but also for women - isn't exactly making any point but the one I already have.

I'm a bit flabbergasted that you still don't understand why women view males with natural suspicion. First off, as I already noted and supported, men are socialized to be aggressive (even violent) and to try to control and "get what they want" from women. Women are not sold the same norms and told that they can't be "real women" if they don't taken then on. Secondly, by the time a girl is 17, she's already had a lifetime of sexual harassment, sexual assault, and other bad behavior at the hands of boys and men. Just about every woman you know, including your mother and your grandmother, has a huge number of stories about the way that men have harmed them their entire lives. And, since this is "just how things are" because men are expected to act this way, nobody stands up for girls or women, or does anything about it - until very recently - and even then, reporting a sexual assault or rape is likely just going to add more trauma to the woman's life based on how she's treated for speaking up.

The fact that different cultures are different isn't the issue. The only problem is that many of our norms of masculinity drive violence - against other men as well as against women. They hurt us all in a wide variety of ways. This isn't about becoming like other cultures - that's just a point of reference that it's possible to do it differently - it's about not holding societal values that are harmful to literally everyone, including men.

It's hard for me to not ask straight out just how stupid a group of people has to be to defensively cling to a set of behaviors that are driving their own suicides, substance abuse, depression, and unhappiness. But rather than take that on and change it, they blame women, blame feminism, scream about how it’s unfair to point to this stuff as toxic — even though it demonstrably is. An alien looking at that from outer space would see it as lunacy. Clearly, there is something that men believe they have to gain by sticking with this stuff that overshadows just how much it harms them.

We try to show them that it is personal for them too. For all of us. We talk about men not only as perpetrators but as victims. We try to show them that violence by men against one another—from simple assaults to gay bashing—is linked to the same structures and beliefs about gender and power that produce so much of men’s violence against women.

For example, according to a 2012 report by the U.S. Conference of Mayors, domestic violence was a leading cause of homelessness in twenty-five cities surveyed.4 It is also directly linked to the ongoing carnage of mass shootings. A study of those atrocities from 2015 to 2017 by Everytown for Gun Safety found that in 59 percent of cases, the shooter killed an intimate partner or family member or had a history of domestic violence.

Katz, Jackson. The Macho Paradox (p. 7). Sourcebooks. Kindle Edition.

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Passive male absorption of sexist ideology enables men to falsely interpret this disturbed behavior positively. As long as men are brainwashed to equate violent domination and abuse of women with privilege, they will have no understanding of the damage done to themselves or to others, and no motivation to change.

Patriarchy demands of men that they become and remain emotional cripples. Since it is a system that denies men full access to their freedom of will, it is difficult for any man of any class to rebel against patriarchy, to be disloyal to the patriarchal parent, be that parent female or male.

Hooks, Bell. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love (p. 27). Atria Books. Kindle Edition.