Telling people that no, they aren't really oppressed - it's all in their heads is what gaslighters do to their victims.

I'd also like to point out that you are doing another brain trick here - creating an intellectual sounding framework for what is actually an emotional response. Too much "complaining' about patriarchy and racism makes you uncomfortable, so you've come up with a logical-sounding theory about why those aren't actually problems of the magnitude that many, many people believe they are.

Most of these issues are part of unconscious bias, and we can't deal with them if we don't even accept that they are actual issues that need to be addressed. If certain penguins spend their time complaining about how it's not nearly as bad as all that, then the rest of us have to try to get the penguins to care. It's just this sort of refusal to engage with someone else's pain that drives the need to harp on the negatives.