Thank you for your open and vulnerable comment. This programming is very deep, and as you said, takes a lot of time and intention to dismantle. It is supported by nearly everyone around you; even by a lot of the women. Don’t be too hard on yourself for being a product of your society. But, please do continue to notice when this dynamic is in play because seeing it is the first step towards being able to change it.

I write about the dominance hierarchy aspect of patriarchy all of the time because I believe it is the root cause of all of our social ills. Mark Greene also writes a lot about the ways that this system harms men (and society) and speaks from his own personal experiences as a man. You might find those useful and enjoyable as well.

My personal belief is that as you gain confidence in who you are as a person, as an individual, it will be easier and easier to not slip back into old fear-based programming. Develop your own self-awareness and authenticity and strengthen your all-around humanity and the rest will come.

Best wishes,

Elle