Thank you so much for sharing that❣️ It means the world to me that this community has impacted your life so profoundly.

And what you are describing is known as compersion - where you feel joy at your love having enjoyable and pleasurable experiences, even when you are not a part of them. I get that polyamory is not for everyone, but there is definitely something to be said for the intimacy that comes from having vulnerable conversations about one's desires and fantasies that provides something that the expectations around monogamous relationships do not (e.g. the belief that you should never be attracted to anyone else ever again).

I'll look forward to hearing how your journey continues.