Thanks and I'll agree with you on the confidence front. That is something that is always attractive — in both men and women, but not that cocky, loud and arrogant part. Most women find that obnoxious and even if they are initially taken in by it, it gets old really quickly. We do live in a dominance hierarchy where ruthlessness reads as leadership, but for the most part I see no evidence of most women being attracted to "toxic masculinity." Maybe college students or others who are too young to know better, but all the women I know (and read) talk repeatedly about how much they despise those sorts of behaviors and they aren't with those sorts of men. This makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. A guy like that is going to make a terrible father.
A timid man will likely not have good success with women, but there's a huge difference between being confident because you know and own who you are, and "toxic masculinity" behaviors. Self confidence is the key, even if you are naturally a more quiet sort of guy.
"Women spend so much of their lives not being listened to and being disrespected by men that the best dating catnip in the world is to simply show up and be genuinely interested in the other person, sharing authentic parts of yourself as well. That’s how you make a real connection with someone. That’s how you really get talking to a woman in a natural scenario. Ask her about what she’s passionate about in life, or what she’s an expert in, and then sit back and let her shine for a while. It will be such a breath of fresh air that she’ll probably find you really attractive based on that alone.
I used to be friendly with a kind of big-time ladies man and he agreed with this completely. His advice was to never ask a woman a question that you didn’t actually care about the answer to such as, “Have you lived here long?” What do you really want to know about her? Actually get to know her as a person. If you can’t make some sort of authentic connection, move on and find someone with whom you are more compatible."
