Thanks and yes, there seem to be a lot of men out there who believe that poly is a way for women to essentially cheat, leaving their men at home to cry in their beer while they run all over town. This is a patriarchal outlook where if you can't "control" your woman, then she will take advantage of you. It comes out of the incel-adjacent belief that women can get sex whenever they want and men who aren't at the top of the pyramid will be left out in the cold because these women will only go for the top 10% of guys -the harems theory.
This couldn't be further from the truth in reality. First of all, poly is about intimate relationships and not just sex, and poly women want to be with poly men who share their same values about honesty, co-creating a relationship together that meets their needs, etc. It's brings most couples closer together (if they have started out as a monogamous couple) because of the high level of communication and vulnerability that is needed and the way that poly encourages people to be responsible for their own happiness. Patriarchy is a zero-sum construct where if you don't win you lose. That's where these men are coming from.
