Thanks for your comment and yeah, the whole idea that your partner needs to substantially change in order to be acceptable is a problem in itself. Some men do start out as attentive and actively engaged with things that are important to her in the relationship and then set those down once they are married because they feel they don't have to try in the same way any longer. But some women do just have the mistaken impression that they can and should change their man to make him over into who they really want him to be.