Thanks for your efforts to educate yourself and try to talk to your family members. The problem is the culture as it's currently constructed and the only way that shifts is if men participate in trying to shift it. It's going to take time and a lot of effort but it's important work - for men as well as everyone else because "traditional" masculinity is quite harmful to men as well.

You as an individual can only do your part, but the fact remains, that the demographic of "men" is still the problem, whether or not you personally are trying hard or whether you are lapping up the fruits of privilege. In the same way that the demographic of "whites" of which I am a part is still the problem as relates to racial inequality. You benefit from gender inequality whether you want to or not, just as I benefit from racial inequality. So, I ask you to stop taking it personally and to instead continue to educate yourself and to confront inequality where you see it (even if you don't think you've been listened to). The culture desperately needs guys like you to stop centering yourself in this scenario and continue the good work of being a force for pro-social behavior in our society.

Men’s violence against women is a pervasive social phenomenon with deep roots in existing personal, social, and institutional arrangements. In order for people to understand and ultimately work together to prevent it, it is first necessary for them to engage in a great deal of personal and collective introspection. This introspection can be especially threatening to men, because as perpetrators and bystanders, they are responsible for the bulk of the problem.

Katz, Jackson. The Macho Paradox (p. 24). Sourcebooks. Kindle Edition.