That isn't what I said. Polyamory is a distinct relationship style that has different parameters and seeks to create a different dynamic than monogamy. It isn't just couples deciding to fuck around. It doesn't always go perfectly because you know, human beings, but mostly because they aren't doing the work it takes to make poly go well. People who don't understand that shouldn't try to engage in poly life. Nor should they attempt to write or comment on it.
"But in any case, if you are even considering polyamory or any form of ethical non-monogamy, just be forewarned that the best way to have it be successful is to do the work that it takes to understand what is really going on for you as far as your own desires, fears, and insecurities, and then to routinely have honest discussions about those with anyone who might be impacted.
This takes time, effort, and a high degree of vulnerability, but the pay-off is that it also leads to happier, more deeply connected relationships. You can’t just rely on parameters that were created by other people; you have to create your own and then keep reassessing them for viability. In many ways, monogamy is a lot simpler. There’s only one other person to consider and you pretty much know what the rules are."
