That’s exactly what they are! Relationship anarchy is a style of polyamory, but it absoluely doesn’t not preclude intensive on-going conversation and agreement around what your relationships is going to include. You could conceivably agree to not discuss other partners with each other, but that is not an out-of-the-box given. Trying to tell you that they are essentially going to do whatever they want without any input from you about the parts that affect your relationship is boys trying to have their cake and eat it too with no self-responsibility or thought for their partner(s). It’s essentially the opposite of actual polyamory, and guys like this give the real thing a bad name.