That's one of the most misunderstood phrases in the English language. It only applies to who has the burden of proof during a trial and in no way indicates that the average citizen ought to consider him innocent in the face of compelling evidence to the contrary just because it hasn't yet been proven in a court of law. In fact, if the court considered everyone innocent in the face of enough damning evidence to try them, they'd never try anyone at all.

But I did really like your kindergarten skit.