That's so telling and sad that you could feel this patriarchal masculinity killing off the other boy's natural qualities in favor of making them into men. And you're absolutely right that so much of the domination aspect are so intrinsic to our culture that most people don't even recognize that as they use them. I personally hate any iteration of "fucked" to mean abused or punished or taken advantage of. Fuck is a great word and I use it liberally as an expletive, but not in that manner.

I'm with you in working toward a world where all men can be whomever they actually are without all this performative domination. I want that for the men I love, but also for everyone else too - because that's when our marginalization and oppression will stop.