That's something that I say a lot - even if people want to stay monogamous (which I totally support if they have chosen that and it hasn't just kind of chosen them because they see no other options presented) that there is a lot anyone can learn from some of the precepts of polyamory about self responsibility for your emotions and truly communicating, etc. Of course, plenty of poly people don't quite live up to all of that, but many of them do or at least try to.
I don't know how much of my stuff you've read about partnership systems vs. domination systems, but I used to work at a non-profit that was created very much in the partnership mode - on purpose. The basis for our work together was a deep respect and affection for each other (rather than trying to be the most important or show somebody else up). Conflicts did take place, but they were resolved by talking it through and keeping the basis of trust and affection always in mind. It was great - until we ended up with a bunch of corporate types on the board and they took back in the domination system direction because that was all they had ever known and they didn't understand anything else. I left... I think that some of those elements are part of any sort of real intimacy and sound at least somewhat similar to what I understand of what you are writing about.
Here's a bit more about that if you are interested.
