That's what dating is right now though, and as long as it's socially constructed that men are supposed to do the asking, then men are the ones who have to take most of the risks. As I said, I'm all for that changing, but as long as many men are going to hold it against women from being "too aggressive" then we're stuck with what we have.

Refer back to what I said about men learning to read women's cues so it's not a complete shot in the dark. You really ought to have a pretty good sense of whether or not someone has some interest in you before you ever ask them out. If you had a conversation with CT (or any woman) and you knew that you'd "hit it off" waiting for her to offer her number is nearly always going to leave you home alone by yourself. All women (and men) have the right to decline invitations from anyone they don't want to go out with for any reason whatsoever. If you think a woman is stuck up, don't ask her out just because she's pretty. Ask women out that you have a good rapport with and who are indicating that they are interested in you as well.

And lots of women do start conversations, offer their number or otherwise overtly indicate interest these day, but we're still living in a patriarchy. The single most attractive quality in a man (or anyone really) is self-confidence and the understanding that if someone declines an invitation, it's not a referendum on your worth, it's that for whatever reason, they don't feel an interest in dating you. You wouldn't want to date someone you felt no chemistry with or attraction to, and it runs both ways.

Nearly all relationships are between people who are broadly socially "a match." Mona is not saying that all guys have a shot at the most beautiful women; she's saying that often beautiful women are not approached at all, even by men who are ostensibly their "match" - and that the common narrative that most women and especially beautiful ones have their pick of suitors is a completely erroneous one.