The fact that you are demanding that she not write from her own perspective about her own pain, but instead include everyone illustrates the point she is making. She's not allowed to take care of her own needs because you feel entitled to demand that she take care of other people's as well - a pretty patriarchal stance for a queer, poly person to adopt, I'd say, but then misogyny is deeply ingrained even for many queer men.

Misogyny Is About Keeping Women In Their Own Lane