The first time she read it, it was to herself in an email and the only tone she had was the one she provided in her own mind. When I reread it to her later, it certainly wasn't in a happy voice bc I was pretty pissed off that being direct and non-nonsense was being perceived as aggressive. Even then, she still couldn't identify anything that was actually problematic. I agree that tone can matter, but so can deeply ingrained beliefs about what is "appropriate" for a women.