These aren't "masculine tendencies" they are norms that are taught - and yes, 96% of research done on that topic agrees that these norms are harmful to men and to everyone else - and that they drive violence. There's no way in hell that constantly messaging guys that "real men" are aggressive, dominate, control women, and "take what they want" doesn't have anything to do with violence in general and sexual violence in particular. Part of the way that we know this is that cultures that don't have those same masculine norms don't have the same levels of violence. In some places, rape is virtually unheard of - because of the way that men are taught to view women with respect and as equals.
Scully’s (1990) study of sexual violence views rape as learned behavior within a patriarchal culture. According to her findings rapists as compared to other felons are more likely to believe in a double standard regarding gender roles and they identify more strongly with the traditional male role.
In cultures where there is no historical belief in male dominance, or coercion and violence as a demonstration of masculinity, rape is nearly unheard of. In fact, in at least some of these cultures, rape is seen as shamefully unmasculine behavior. The Minangkabau of Indonesia, the world’s largest matrilineal culture, is a place where men move into their wives' homes after marriage. It is also a place where rape is largely unknown, in part because it is considered unmanly.
The fact that you are not as far in the Man Box as some men is irrelevant. Your personnel experiences and persepective count for virtually nothing because you are one guy who has no training as a sociologist or as a researcher looking from inside your own head and deciding it describes broad societal dynamics - which it doesn't.
If you are "bantering" with friends in a way that objectifies or denigrates women, yes - you are absolutely contributing to social norms that dehumanize women - something that makes it much, much easier to do things that are harmful to them because they aren't seen as equals or as even actual human beings. Women don't bond over denigrating and sexualizing men - but it's well documented that men do this and it's also well documented from international research that this increases violence against women.
