This expectation of women is really so strong, that it can take a long time to really see it and then begin deprogramming from it. Like you, I only truly started to do that during the pandemic, when my dying mother came to live with us. I just couldn't do all the things I used to do for everyone, and "hold up the center tent pole" of our household in the same way. And that turned out to be a good thing. Hopefully, younger generations of women aren't buying into this quite so deeply.