This is a function of patriarchy, although that doesn't make it OK.

"Her humanity may hence be held to be owed to other human beings, and her value contingent on her giving moral goods to them: life, love, pleasure, nurture, sustenance, and comfort, being some such. This helps to explain why she is often understood perfectly well to have a mind of her own, yet punished in brutal and inhumane ways when that mind appears to be oriented to the wrong things, in the wrong ways, to the wrong people—including herself and other women."

Manne, Kate. Down Girl (pp. 22-23). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.