This is one of the very worst aspects of patriarchy, that everything is a zero-sum structure. You are either male or female (in a very narrow definition of those terms), straight or gay, win or lose - meanwhile the world is not remotely that cut and dried and looking at everything though the lens of "If I don't "win" that means I "lose" is extremely destructive and harmful - to men and to everyone else.

It's very well documented how much all of this stuff really harms men. I am quite confident that appealing to their sense of fairness and justice for women (and other people who don't fit into this binary) is not going to move most men. Ergo, I'm more and more trying to appeal to some sense of self-interest. Men are very literally killing themselves with this shit, and if they are too stubborn to accept that, I don't know where this leaves us in 50 years, but it sounds to me like a great way to go extinct. 🤷‍♀️

Edit: In addition, I don’t really care if most men can’t differentiate between their socialization and who they are. That’s why I’m educating them about it. Continually yelling at women and calling them misandric for not liking shit that has nothing to do with actual maleness is not something that needs to be accepted because they don’t know any better. It’s time to change the cultural narrative that this is “male nature” and get more aware of the fact that it’s “male socialization” — norms that are really, really bad for men, as well as everyone else. It’s not even a matter of 97% of human history (although there is that part), it’s that it’s not universal now, even amongst Western cultures. I really want to shout, “Stop justifying your bullshit, because it’s not even universally masculine today.” It’s a cop out and an excuse. And, it’s literally killing American men.