This is right on track! I had a relationship where my partner kept demanding honesty and full information and then would lash out at me when he got it. It didn’t work very well, and made me inclined to hide things from him.

I believe that you have to take people mostly as they already are, and if who they are doesn’t work for you, perhaps it’s not a good relationship match. As you said, this doesn’t preclude making requests or pointing out actual grievances, but that this takes place in an atmosphere of real acceptance and trust. If you don’t have that, you don’t actually have much.