This is the patriarchal dominance hierarchy encapsulated - where if you are not thinking about and serving the needs of those at the apex, then you are out of line. In this scenario, men (and particularly white men) are people and everyone else is a sidekick or servant of some kind. I know a lot of guys don't feel that level of privilege, but it's there all the same in the undercurrents which were overt only a few decades ago.

And yes, refusing to acknowledge that while you tell the people on the short end of that dynamic they are crazy, whining, and the actual problem is incredibly hurtful and anger-inducing.