This is what I discovered as well when we opened up our relationship - that we went from two become one in a couple and instead became individuals who choose to spend our lives together. It's incredible the difference that made to my feelings of happiness after decades of getting lost in wifedom and motherhood. I still value those roles, but they no longer consume me. I'm a person first, an individual - Eureka!

Thanks again for sharing your experiences. You articulate so well the nuances of what's taking place in your relationship(s).