This is what I’m talking about when I use that term. Patriarchy is a social system that is a dominance-based hierarchy. It’s infects every aspect of our culture, not just the power differential between men and women.
“Men often deny the existence or at least the power of patriarchy because they do not feel a sense of freedom, a sense of real powerfulness within the system. The truth is that it constricts and restrains everyone, not just the people at the very bottom of its hierarchy.” Defining, Perpetuating & Challenging Patriarchy
Because man box (patriarchal) culture glorifies bullying and dominance as the primary expression of masculine power and success, all men are invited to daily test the limits of what society will tolerate. Accordingly, we see dominance-based interactions play out in every aspect of our lives, from within our most personal interactions to the dynamics of our national politics. While millions of good men care about creating more compassionate personal and professional relationships, and so choose not to test the limits of men’s collective permission to be dominant, the fact that this choice is an opt-out, tells us all we need to know about what’s going wrong.
When you extrapolate out a system that is based in the historical domination of men over women, weaker men, and children to the rest of the cultural landscape, you get a society that is obsessed with how it rates in relation to those around them. You also get a society where many members feel completely justified in using bullying and violence in order to keep certain people or demographics in their perceived place. In order to be a part of dismantling patriarchal norms, as well as racism, homophobia and sexual harassment, the first step is to move away from the constant desire to needlessly rank, stratify, and coerce others to stay in their perceived roles and lanes and to instead just let people who aren’t hurting anyone else alone to live.
