To be honest, I didn't truly realize how truly bad it was either until I read a book about it recently. It's called The Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates. She did a huge amount of research for the book, including spending more than a year "under cover" as an incel. She talks about interviewing various anti-terrorist government agencies and nobody seems to take all this as seriously as they should. Of course, I think the book was written in 2018 so it's hopefully a small bit more on the radar now, but still not as much as it should be. A bunch of men told me that I was the one who was being hateful and out of line to characterize the manosphere as dangerous and having a lot of crossover with white nationalism and homophobia. Perhaps they only see the part they belong to which isn't so extreme but to be honest, I often could only read a few pages at a time because what she was documenting was so hateful, so horrendous, so malicious and so slyly done that it really was quite terrifying.

There are a lot of very good and caring men on Medium (and in the larger culture). Unfortunately, the detractors and haters are often louder and more active. They can suck the air out of the room at times and give the impression that they are the majority. However, you are correct that most men don't understand how pervasive and demoralizing this is. Talking about this stuff is not "attacking men," it's trying to get a handle on a destructive dynamic that is not healthy for any part of society and that is spreading like wildfire.

Having a man who is writing authoritatively and compellingly about this would be a great contribution.