Tony, I'm going to have to stop reading your stuff because although I think you have good intentions, half the time it makes my head want to explode. Feminism is not about female supremacy in any way shape or form and agreeing that women don't have the right to put their own interests to the fore by using that word because they really ought to be looking to help everyone (which they absolutely are by way of creating fewer genderized boxes for all) is incredibly offensive and just wrong-headed in every conceivable way imaginable.
People have a problem with the term because it's been purposely demonized as a way to disarm and discredit the movement. Isn't that wildly apparent? Of course there are some people who are militant or abrasive, or whatever, but mostly that comes as a result of not getting their needs met in any other way. What Human Revolution said is exactly right - men have to acknowledge that they are responsible for this state of affairs even if they are "good guys" who care about equality. Men have to take responsibility as members of the dominant social group that has long benefited from structural inequality (just as white people need to do as well) even if they are active allies.
I'm reiterating what Human Revolution said again because it's so key to this discussion:
"One key finding: a prerequisite to progress is that perpetrators must acknowledging the harm they’ve caused and demonstrate an intention to rectify and repair that harm. This step is a precursor for any discussion relating to mutual liberation. The societal reckoning acknowledging the harm done hasn’t happened yet. And rectifying those wrongs hasn’t happened yet either. Until these phases of the process occur, it’s premature to be focusing energy on freeing oppressors from the collateral harms they suffer.
We know that the first phases haven’t occurred yet because virtually all forms of men’s violence against women have been going UP, not down. We can also see men are actively blocking every effort to structurally rectify historical wrongs by voting down paid leave, childcare/eldercare programs and women’s reproductive rights. Until men stop committing direct and structural violence against women, all energies should focus on stopping these egregious injustices, not running some PR campaign pandering to men. "
