We decided to open things up to enhance our relationship with each other - and it definitely has done that. In other words, we had a strong, secure, and loving relationship to start with and the purpose was not to find something that was somehow missing, but just to add in something new. I've personally never felt jealous because I know and value what we have with each other and don't see anyone else as a threat to that. After all, in polyamory, being attracted to or even loving someone else doesn't mean you now move on to that person - it means you add that to what you already have. My husband had a little bit harder time when I first fell in love with somebody else, but he eventually worked through that - in part when he started loving someone else too, and saw firsthand that it had no impact on how he felt about me or us. Love isn't a pie where there is less if you give some to someone else. Jealousy is largely about insecurity and the socially approved but also patriarchal desire to "own" and "control" somebody else.
