We have people in our life that we absolutely love - but that doesn't mean we have to have the relationship look any particular way. Monogamy rules about the relationship escalator don't have to apply. In my experience, you can deeply love someone and also keep it casual at the same time - but that's not something most of us have been taught to do, so I get that it's not easy. As usual, thanks for sharing your experiences and wishing you all the best.