We live in a patriarchal society where strict gender binaries are a central aspect of the culture. Men continue to uphold these harmful norms even though they lead to mental health problems because alongside the gender aspects, patriarchy is at its foundation a dominance based hierarchy. It's a zero-sum system where if you don't win, you lose. Anyone who demonstrates in some way that they can't hack it in the system is "the loser." A man admitting that living that way takes a toll is inconsistent with this type of dog-eat-dog culture.
Men have been deeply indoctrinated into this to the point that even when they are presented with the statistics around how harmful this sytem is for them, many of them continue to defend it. You are one such example. As was pointed out by a man who studies this (in an earlier thing I quoted to you) men are deeply, deeply in denial about the harms that this system causes for them.
"Men aren’t allowed to admit to being lonely. 'Patriarchal masculinity is so impossible to achieve that admitting to loneliness would mean confronting our shame. Most men are living with that deep, deep, deep denial of how horrible patriarchy makes them feel and how their participation is causing the feelings that they refuse to feel,' he said."
I'm working on a story about this with a working title, "The Dominance Hierarchy Is Killing Me: Long Live the Hierarchy."
The men who are successful at playing by these rules are pleased with themselves for doing that because it's still so socially enforced, but that doesn't mean that they aren't also depressed, substance abusing, and suicidal at the same time. The reverse is true for the men who are making their own way in the world. They don't get the societal affirmation which feels bad, but they are not suffering the same amount of mental health problems.
Bullying is not a good thing but it is the way that patriarchal gender binaries are enforced. As Paul Kivel's study showed, even guys in high school know that this is a significant aspect of being "a real man" - to police and bully boys who don't conform. And why exactly is conforming to someone else's standards of who they ought to be a healthy or necessary thing - for anyone?
You don't understand the first thing about Darwin so don't even try to talk about that. Natural selection does not favor the biggest or the toughest - it favors the traits that are most adaptive in that particular set of circumstances (which may in some instances be toughness, etc). What we are experiencing right now is not evolution - it's culture, and really recent culture at that. Patriarchy has only existed for the past 3% of human history.
It's not my characterization of how men deal with emotions. It's the ones that men themselves told to researchers (in this and pretty much all other studies of this topic). For 97% of human history people dealt with existential threats by banding together and supporting each other. Taking care of the whole tribe/community was the primary survival strategy. It is only in the last couple thousand years with the advent of patriarchy that this dog-eat-dog, every man for himself strategy has arisen. And ironically, because it's so maladaptive, it spread.
https://medium.com/inside-of-elle-beau/yes-our-ancient-ancestors-were-egalitarian-b32df87bed57
"In other words, inequality did not spread from group to group because it is an inherently better system for survival, but because it creates demographic instability, which drives migration and conflict and leads to the cultural — or physical — extinction of egalitarian societies.”
So, I don't mean to be snarky here, but you haven't actually made any substantive points. You've acted as a mouthpiece for patriarchy trying to justify itself, but none of it actually holds up to scrutiny or actually makes your points. I think I've spent enough time on this here.
Take care.
