Well done! I had no idea about the Scientology angle but this does very much look like someone who grew up geeky and a bit shy who later became famous and started using that to play out porn fantasies - because starting to choke someone in mid-sex is not actual BDSM - a subculture that overwhelmingly prioritizes consent (more than the general public). I've loved many of his books, including Ocean, which I've read maybe 4 times. Not sure I can stomach reading it ever again.

I'm also a bit shocked that Palmer didn't do better with this situation.

People who don't see the value and even sexiness of active and ongoing consent value never having to be even slightly vulnerable over the comfort and enjoyment of their partner. It's gross, but I hope that with time, like condom discussions, it will become more mainstream.