Well, first off those supposed promises of patriarchy don't actually hold up for anybody. Most men will never truly get ahead no matter how hard they work because that's how the oligarchs have designed the system. And, men have never really protected women all that much and only provided for them because they precluded women from providing for themselves. So, this is mostly just a fairy tale the oligarchs tell to keep you too distracted to notice how only the people at the top of the dominance hierarachy actually really benefit from it.
What you're essentially saying is that most men don't care if it's the right thing to do, to not continue to artificially have unearned privilege that harms a whole other class of fellow human beings - unless there's something in it for them. Charming! Besides being a fairly selfish and shitty attitude, it's also a very short-sighted one. Countries with better gender equality have men who live longer, have more sex, have better health and greater happiness. Doing the right thing does also benefit men - without having to affirmatively take up so called "men's issues" - which BTW, most "women's issues" are actually men's issues in disguise - so there's that as well. If you can't be bothered to shift mainstream masculine norms to healthier ones for women, do it for yourself, because all that domination, control, and stoicism is literally killing men and making them miserable and more gender equal cultures have much better lives for men.
I'm glad you've found a space that works for you, but this retrograde, entitled, selfish bullshit narrative that too men men are vomiting up needs to go. Women are plowing ahead, with or without you guys, and no amount of whining and stamping your feet is going to make us go backward. We'd like it if you were with us. We'd like it if you would do your share in creating a better society, but if you are too weak, too immature, or too selfish (not you personally, but one) then we will do it without you. Adapt or go extinct. As far as I can see, those are the only real choices.
