What are you talking about? My husband takes care of me in all sorts of ways and I also take care of him. We make each other meals (he cooks too); we do favors for each other, we help each other out so that the other can relax a bit, we see when the other needs a bit of TLC. We are a safe space for each other where we can each let go at times, sometimes alternately, and sometimes together. Relationship hierarchy is common but it's hardly inevitable or necessary.