When someone talks about something scary and dehumanizing that they experience and the response is "Why not let it go?" it's not an illogical assumption that the person saying that is doing is to minimize or excuse bad behavior that they don't want to be taken to task for. It's a pretty common reaction/response to the concerns of women in particular. I seriously doubt you'd tell a racial minority or a disabled person who was pointing out how they and others like them are often routinely dehumanized to let it go.

So yes, what she said was an assumption, but also a very reasonable one. And the fact that you honed in on that, rather than further explaining your position in a way that showed an ounce of sympathy for what she was describing further tends to confirm that assumption. If you believe that you were abused, because a woman stood up for herself in the face of your lack of empathy, then you may want to reconsider how you address people who are expressing discomfort or pain. Just saying…