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Women Find Their Own Sexiness To Be A Turn On
In a way that doesn’t seem to be true for men
Erotic self-focus sounds like it’s referring to masturbation, but it’s actually something entirely different. The term describes deriving arousal from yourself, oftentimes even more so than your partner, and it seems to be an important part of female sexuality in a way that it isn’t for men.
When sex researcher Marta Meana asked women, “Would you want to sleep with you?” Hell yes, many women basically said, in a way that suggested to Meana that in some sense they already had. Men, on the other hand, mostly didn’t even know what she was talking about, says Wednesday Martin, author of Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Know About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong And How The New Science Can Set Us Free.
What women want and need before and during sex is to see themselves as sexy and desired. This means not only feeling desirable to their partners but also that women need to feel sexy to themselves as well. This is, of course, a double-edged sword. Women who feel unattractive to themselves are going to have a tougher time feeling attractive to anyone else.
But this is not necessarily related to self-objectification, where women become so used to seeing themselves through the lens of how other people might see and judge…
