Women have been on the receiving end of inequality for so long that most of them have no interest in perpetrating that on someone else, although in my experience, most women are the de facto leaders of their families - but most of them would also like a little bit more balance and help with that. My husband earns a LOT more than I do and there is zero power imbalance in our relationship. I think you're projecting a lot of stuff and assuming it generalizes when that may or may not be the actual case. Even 20 or 30 years ago, when women did make a lot less on average than their male partners, women still made most of the decisions around how money was spent in the home, even for things like cars. That's even more true today - at least in the US.

D/s relationship paradigms don't really translate well to the outside world, if you ask me. Most kink types will tell you that the sub actually has the bulk of the power. Not so in a hierarchical relationship out in the regular world.