Wow - that was a lot! To touch on just a few of the points, I'm not bitter in the least - but I do get pretty frustrated with people who seem to be buying into stories that "work" for them and perpetuating old false narratives rather than trying to interface with something that approximates reality. Evo Psych is a prime example of this - the entire "discipline" is made up with no actual science taking place - as already detailed in the story I linked to you about it. And yet, lots of people, most of them men, seem to think that it proves something. Me continuing to talk to you about this stuff at length is me leaning in.
Correlation is not causation - you ascribing reasons for why women do and want some of the things they do without investigating beyond your assumptions about them means you're essentially just telling yourself the story that you want to believe in. To be honest, I find this quite frustrating - but at the same time, not all that surprising. It's something a lot of people (mostly male) are quite comfortable with, but also a part of the reason there is so much disconnect in dating today.
Most guys don't seem to be interested in what's really going on for women - they're only interested in their own story, shared amongst other guys, about what is going on. It's a large part of the reason that so many women are giving up dating and relationships altogether. If I tell you what I care about and how I think and your response is something like, "No, you don't understand your own thought process and desires," I'm going to say that kind of condescension bodes really poorly for us having a satisfying relationship. Humans are not a monolith, and neither are mating strategies. Pretending they are and that they break down in a strict binary is actively rejecting observable reality. I get that it's comforting in some way, particularly if you've been socialized that your main identity is "not a woman" but it bears little relationship to the actual world, which is full of nuance, and diversity and is infinitely more complex.
Read the story I linked you about Evo Psych - it touches on the fiction of parental investment theory.
It sounds to me like you are the one who is bitter, estranged, and hurt. I'm just having a conversation - one where I'm not shy to point out all the factual holes in your theories, but with no antagonism or upset around that beyond mild frustration that you seem too ideologically wedded to your beliefs to be able to integrate anything that challenges them. Again, it's not all that surprising, but I was hopeful for some flexibility and growth spurred by the acquisition of new information. Oh well . . . It is what it is. 🤷♀️ Take care.
