Yes, a person born with both testes and a vagina is in the end just a human being, but still, you want to force them into a binary box when through no fault of their own they are neither male nor female because they are both? And you make exceptions for those with severe gender dysphoria. But how are you going to know when you meet someone if they are intersex, or if they are experiencing severe gender dysphoria? You pay lip service to honoring humanity but then reserve the right for yourself to determine who has a legitimate reason and who doesn't to fit into binary boxes. I think perhaps you are the one who needs therapy. Do you even hear yourself?
Most indigenous cultures acknowledge somewhere between 3 and 5 genders - and have for centuries. There's a reason for that. The binary of man and woman is a patriarchal construct. Those are not some of the most inclusive terms in the world - far from it. They each carry a very narrow definition of what is acceptable for each, to the detriment of all. This is perhaps why the number of people who identify as nonbinary is on the rise - it's a desire to throw off the narrow constraints of gender boxes as they are defined in our culture. Things have loosened up a little bit for women in the past 50 years, but only a tiny bit for men. The self-identified "rules" for men still sound like they come out of the 1950s.
https://medium.com/inside-of-elle-beau/men-describe-what-it-takes-to-be-a-real-man-c694595b4366
"Paul Kivel conceptualized the “Act Like a Man Box” in the early 1980’s, by asking high school boys what the rules were for being a man. It turned out the rules were pretty straightforward. They included:
• Hide all emotions
• Treat women as less, have control over women
• Be tough, never admit self doubt, fear
• Police and bully other boys who don’t conform.
More recently, when researchers asked a socially and ethnically diverse range of men ages 18–30 in the US, the UK, and Mexico what it takes to be a “real man” the responses were very similar. Here are the 7 main pillars:
Be self-sufficient — Real men should be self-reliant, particularly with regard to their physical and emotional health.
Act tough — Real men should be willing to defend their reputation, by violence if necessary. They also should remain stoic when dealing with vulnerable emotions.
Physical attractiveness — Real men should dress well and look good, but without appearing that they are trying too hard to do so.
Rigid gender roles — Real men expect to be financial providers but not to do much in the way of child or home care.
Heterosexuality and homophobia — Real men should be both heterosexual and derogatory of homosexuality, even if they have gay friends that they accept.
Hypersexuality — Real men are interested in and ready for sex anytime and anywhere. They should always be on the prowl for their next “sexual conquest.”
Aggression and control — Real men use physical violence when necessary, and hold control over household decisions and women’s movements."
Those are the things that boys and men self-report about what they are fully aware is expected of them in order to be a man. Naturally, some of them push back against those, but as the Promundo researchers noted, there is a social price to pay for doing that, since these norms are so heavily enforced. There is also a mental health price to pay for adhering to them.
I just wonder how it harms you in any way to stop thinking you know what's best for everyone else, and to honor the humanity of others you come into contact with by addressing them in the way in which they prefer? There really is nothing that is ruder or more condescending than refusing to address someone in the way that they self-designate. And don't tell me you aren't going to call someone Kittycat or whatever because you've never actually met anyone who wants to be called that. The number of people who would even want that is infentesimally small. Calling someone They if they prefer doesn't really affect you except in your head.
Intersex folks are, by definition, non-binary, so you really don't have a leg to stand on with your convoluted self-rationalization here. Seriously, you really ought to talk to someone about why this all bothers you so much, and makes you so angry when it mostly doesn't even affect you in any material way. How about putting your money where your mouth is and honoring the humanity of other people, even if you don't entirely understand every aspect of it? That's mature; that's mentally healthy; that's respectful of others.
All of this other stuff is just centering yourself in the lives of every other person on the planet. "What I think and want is THE most important thing as relates to other people's lives!" Seriously dude, get some therapy.
