You are absolutely right, just showing up to listen and learn goes a long, long way. People feel less of a need to rant or vilify if they believe they are being heard and seen and cared about. I'm often shocked about how little most men know about women's lives and women's pervasive experience in this culture. Then they say things that are offensive because they just don't have a clue...

I spend a lot of my time reading Black writers, gay and trans writers, and male writers talking about their experiences of being them. I'd love it if more guys would do that too - to educate themselves and show interest in other people's worlds and experiences and as you said, to be more aware and intentional about what they do with their time and attention. Things like noting your favorite books, films (and if they pass the Bechdel test) are simply ways of noticing the culture we are fed, and where we can possibly expand on that a little.

Good piece - much appreciated.