You are centering yourself in something that isn't about you. It's completely inappropriate, fragile, and makes it clear that you aren't actually an ally to women.
I am an ally to LGBTQ+ folks and Black people and I do shut up and listen to them, ask pertinent questions, and try to educate myself. I don't make critiques of whites or straight people about me because they are all valid and they aren't talking about me.
No, Roe got overturned because of 25 years of concerted and intentional effort by a very committed body of right wing nut jobs, not because women weren't nice enough to the demographic who is demonstrably responsible for pretty much all of their safety and equality issues. That’s some pretty nice victim-blaming right there, Mr. Faux Ally…
Defensiveness, in fact, is one of the greatest obstacles to men’s involvement in meaningful discussions about gender violence. Simply stated, a surprising number of nonviolent men cannot hear about the bad things some men do to women without feeling blamed themselves.
But not all men who react defensively are irrational. Some men actually have a troubled conscience, based on past (or present) perpetrations. No point in soft-pedaling this: there are millions of men in our society who (accurately) hear calls for men to speak out about gender violence as direct criticism of their own behavior. Many men get defensive and hostile at the mere mention of gender violence because they have reason to be defensive. The only way these men would not get defensive is if no one ever brought up the subject.
Katz, Jackson. The Macho Paradox (p. 32). Sourcebooks. Kindle Edition.
I’ll reiterate — all mainstream sociological and psychological organizations identify “traditional” aka patriarchal norms of masculinity as being the root cause of violence and sexual predation in our culture — against women, but also against other men. You having a hissy fit because women also bring this up is childish, particularly when men also self-describe this stuff and how it negatively affects them.
