You are one person who has known in your life maybe 50 -100 men. Your personal experience has little to no bearing on broad sociological dynamics which have documented by hundreds of researchers (most of them male) over several countries and many decades. And, a lot of this research has come out of talking to men about what they feel is expected of them and their experiences. You saying that isn't true because it isn't true for you is tunnel vision meant to deflect.
Where exactly is your "research" coming from? YouTube? The manosphere? I'm a social scientist who has learned about this from other experts in the field. What I'm saying is all mainstream and widely accepted as true - not for every single individual man, but as cultural dynamic, which is why the APA recently issued new guidelines to reflect that and try to assist men with the ways these norms negatively affect them.
Of course women play a part in upholding this stuff. It's something I've noted more than once and is talked about quite a bit in the story that I linked you about the Equimundo research. And at the same time, the norms of masculinity are primarily things that men and boys have to fix - because they are the ones who uphold them the most (by bullying and name calling guys who won't comply with them) and because men are still a dominant demographic in this culture and because men listen to other men when they won't listen to women.
"Our results echo previous scholarship, affirming that for people most likely to avoid a woman’s message about gender equity, the same message from a man leads to more openness to it.
Essentially, people who otherwise would avoid listening to a message about sexual harassment or discrimination from a woman can be persuaded by that message if it is delivered by a man."
The men who are far less "guilty" of this stuff as you've put it are still upholding the system often by turning a blind eye to it and that allows it to continue. Otherwise we wouldn't live in a culture where an American is raped every 68 seconds (most of them women) or where even at the highest levels of power, women still have to fight to be taken seriously because there's a subconscious authority gap. If your sister was being beat up by a man and you just stood there knowing it was happening even if you didn't directly see it, and you did nothing to intervene because "Hey, that isn't me" then pretty much everyone would agree that you played a major part in what happened to her. Well, that's what men are doing on a societal level. Your not doing anything is a huge part of why we have the culture that we have.
I'm sorry, but your "feelings" that women are vicious, transactional, whores who will leave a man anytime one that is richer and has a bigger dick comes along are not only completely untrue, they are hateful and misogynistic and need to be called out as such. That shit is a figment of your "bro-culture" imagination and it's toxic. And as the saying goes, "Facts don't care about your feelings."
A better dating culture, and better relationships between men and women has to start with you guys taking responsibility for yourselves and your part (and asking women to do that too for their part) but not by starting from a place of victimhood and essentially begging women to not be vicious, transactional whores.
And since that's what you think of women, why do you even want to be with one? Isn't she, by your own accounting, just going to leave you the minute she gets "a better offer"? 🙄. Oh, right, I forgot... that's what women are there for and so you have every right to demand that the aspects of patriarchy that harm you get improved without caring anything about the rest of it. You are going to get exactly zero women to buy into that scenario.
