You benefit from entrenched misogyny whether you actually perpetrate it or not (or whether you want to benefit). And the fact that you "didn't do anything" is a part of the problem - because that's what allows these things to continue - because men turn a blind eye to them.
A dominance hierarchy culture harms men too - something that I write about often - but the fact remains, the culture of masculinity in this society has been and still is demonstrably abusive and disempowering to women. You pretending that isn't so doesn't make it not true. And what do you mean by long dead? This shit goes on rampantly today? Do you not pay attention to the news?
“This symbolic aggression towards women as a way to bond and validate heterosexual masculinity is so ubiquitous that even boys who are too young to be truly thinking about girls as sex partners understand it — because it’s such a pervasive part of the culture. Even elementary school boys, when asked what it takes to be a man could identify dominating women as a part of the equation. It doesn’t matter if all boys buy into that, because they all know it’s what is expected.
This is the dominant culture for males in this country and so it takes a certain amount of courage and intention to not get sucked into it, even if you can recognize some of the ways that it’s harmful. But even if you have that understanding, not actively participating in this culture does not absolve anyone because as Elie Wiesel pointed out, neutrality helps the oppressor. It keeps the oppression functioning.”
“Your individuality as a human being counts, but your individualism is an illusion. You are not an island and the law reflects this. You are a part of a society and both your actions and inactions contribute to the culture or subculture of that society. That culture, in turn, determines what happens within the group. It is not enough to say, “I didn’t do it.” You are participating in the co-creation of the society that you live in, whether you want to be or not.”
Focusing on my struggles is not actively diminishing yours. And btw, where are you in highlighting the struggles of women? This sort of zero-sum thinking is what patriarchy has taught you, but more than one person can be hurting at a time. If you want to talk about things you are challenged by in this culture, please do - but stop demanding that women do that work for you. Expecting the Screen Actors Guild to actively be highlighting the issues facing the Teamsters is completely unrealistic. This sort of entitled belief is another one of the the legitimate gripes that women have.
